“Service,” is Mrs Daffodil’s motto. For those of her readers who are tossing on their pillows or gnawing their pens in despair over what to write to their valentine, Mrs Daffodil presents a helpful selection of valentine verses for those of her readers in trades. They are written from the gentleman suitor’s point of view, but can easily be adapted for a lady who wishes to press her suit.
From an Apothecary to his Lady.
I long, my dear, for an embrace,
We shall be very snug;
So do not make an ugly face,
As if I were a drug;
I’ll draw your tooth whene’er it aches,
I’ll bleed when pulse isn’t free;
I’ll put a plaister on mistakes,
And cup you when at tea.
From a Baker to the Girl of his Heart.
Oh, thy sweet flesh is soft as dough,
And I shall knead thee soon, I know;
A parasol, for thy dear sake
I’ll buy, lest Sol thy skin should bake,
And fear not love, for when we wed,
We cannot fail to get our bread.
From a Bookbinder to his Valentine
Oh! Were I my charmer to fold,
To press her what pleasure profound!
Propitiously Hymen behold,
And let us together be bound!
From a Carpenter to his Lady.
Tell me, my charmer, if you’ll wed?
Come, strike the nail upon the head,
‘Tis clench’d, and now (don’t let me shock)
I may have chips of the old block.
From a Dancing Master to his Valentine
If you’ll accept my hand, dear Miss,
I’ll then take steps to crown your bliss,
My partner you shall be indeed,
To Hymen’s Temple thee I’ll lead;
Thro’ life we’ll jig it, without halts,
It shall be a continued waltz.
From a Dentist to his Lady.
I clean the teeth—for teeth that’s white,
Will make a kiss yield more delight;
And if to love me you’ll agree
Your teeth like ivory shall be.
A Fishmonger to his Valentine
My fair one’s skin, like cod is white,
Her lips are Salmon’s true;
Her eyes like mack’rel sparkle bright,
Like soles she’s firm and true.
From a Hatter to his Valentine
My Valentine I’ll always love,
For she’s as soft as silk or beaver;
And if a hatter she approve
I wouldn’t for any money leave her.
From a Leather-seller to his Valentine
I leather cut and dress and sell,
All this I do together;
And hope to find you, I confess,
As pliant as my leather.
From a Porkman to his Valentine
If my sparerib you will be
I’ll devote my legs to thee;
And whene’er you fancy pork
You shall have a knife and fork.
From a Quack to his Valentine
My Valentine my skill shall see,
I’ll soon love’s pain allay;
Believe me, fair, I’m an M.D.
What’s more: “No cure no pay.”
From a Staymaker to his Valentine
A Staymaker hopes to bewitch
A lass, who can help him to stitch;
And while handywork she displays
Our lives shall be free from all stays.
From a Toyman to his Valentine
Tho’ for little girls and boys,
I have got abundant toys,
Yet twou’d be my greatest joy
With my Valentine to toy.
From a Taylor to his Valentine
I’ve cut out these lines with great care,
Don’t think that I’ve cabbaged him, Fair,
And if to fit well they are said,
I shall boast of the suit I have made.
From a Waggoner to his Valentine.
Tho’ my way in life be slow,
Smile, my love, and then I’ll go
Gaily on with my Gee ho!
The Trades People’s Valentine Writer: Consisting of Appropriate Valentines Entirely Original, For People of all Trades or Professions, Alphabetically Arranged, 1830
Mrs Daffodil’s Aide-memoire: In just a few short years, Britain would see ascend to the throne, one of her greatest monarchs, Queen Victoria. One wonders what sort of Valentine doggerel the late Prince Consort would have selected to woo the queen of his heart?
I’m prince of Coburg, it is true
By birth not quite your station
But serve you I am bound to do
And populate the nation.
Mrs Daffodil invites you to join her on the curiously named “Face-book,” where you will find a feast of fashion hints, fads and fancies, and historical anecdotes, as well as more Appropriate Valentine verses.