Today Mrs Daffodil introduces a new feature: Saturday Snippets. Every Saturday you will find items of interest which may have been written to Mrs Daffodil’s “Facebook” page, but which were too short to form an entire post without the reader feeling unsatisfied. In compiling this mélange, Mrs Daffodil found that it was very much like searching through one’s store of silk and velvet scraps when piecing a crazy-quilt. Or sorting coloured lithographed scraps to paste into an album, not that Mrs Daffodil indulges in such pastimes, preferring to spend her leisure reading some improving book or scanning the pages of the newspapers for interesting deaths. Mrs Daffodil has an ample stock of The Horrors and will be glad to hear from her readers if items of a more grewsome character would gratify their tastes.
Q. What are the best shoes for wet weather? A. Pumps.
More Puniana, Hugh Rowley, 1875
Duel Between Old Women
A singular duel recently took place in Paris, the home of duelists, between two old ladies, one 60 years old and the other 71. The more spritely of the two wounded her opponent seriously after a furious co-slaughter that would have disgraced two dragoons, and the combatants were separated only by the interference of the police. Evansville [IN] Courier and Press 14 December 1891: p. 5
The Polish nun lacemakers abroad are maintained by the Protestant lace-wearers of England. A History of Hand-made Lace, Mrs. F. Nevill Jackson, 1904
SULPHUROUS.—A verdant Irish girl just arrived, was sent to the intelligence office by the Commissioner of Emigration, to find a place at service. She was sent to a restaurant, where “stout help” was wanted, and while in conversation with the proprietor, he took occasion to light his cigar by igniting a locofoco on the sole of his boot. As soon as she saw this she ran away half frightened to death , and when she reached the office was almost out of breath.
“Why, what is the matter with you?” and the officer, seeing her rush in with such confusion.
“Och, shure, sur, ye’s sint me to the old Nick himself, in human form.”
“What do you mean—has he dared to insult ‘a help’ from my office?” inquired the man.
“Yes sur,” returned the girl. “He’s the old Nick.”
“What did he do to you? tell me, and I’ll fix him for it,” said he quite exasperated.
“Why, sur, whilst I was talking with him about the wages, he turned up the bottom of his fut, and wid a splinter in his finger, sur, he just gave one stroke, and the fire flew out of his fut and burnt the stick, and he lighted his cigar with it right before my own face. He’s the old Nick, shure sur.” The Vincennes [IN] Times 3 February 1866
A MAN MILLINER .— They have one in New York, and, of course, he will be patronized merely because he ought not to be. The sewing is done by burly, strong he-Prussians, Poles, and Hungarians. Godey’s Lady’s Book October, 1870
A REASONABLE WOMAN
The Chicago Press & Tribune is responsible for the following:
A day or two since a lady of unusual amplitude of crinoline got into one of our street railroad cars. She spread her skirts over the adjacent seats to the horror of the conductor who calculated on a rush of passengers immediately. After arranging matters and things, the lady called the conductor and said: “How many seats do you think I occupy?” He was an unmarried man and did not care to exaggerate the matter, replied: “Three seats” With that the lady handed him over fifteen cents, saying, “There’s pay for three seats—now don’t let me be disturbed.” And she was not. Kenosha [WI] Times 4 August 1859: p. 3
There has been exhibited at Syracuse, New York, a miniature steam engine made at Glasgow, Scotland, perfect in every part, and so small that it can be covered by a lady’s thimble. Dubuque [IA] Daily Herald 25 August 1870: p. 3
INK ERASER PIERCED SIDE
Youth Who Tried to Evade Kissing Stenographers Meets With Death
New York, Feb. 16 While endeavouring to elude a bevy of girl stenographers who sought to kiss him in honor of his 15th birthday, George S. Millett was the victim of an odd accident in the offices of the Metropolitan Life Insurance company.
The lad, struggling to escape the embraces of the girls, accidentally fell to the floor and an ink eraser in his pocket pierced his side above the heart. He died from internal haemorrhage. The girls became panic-stricken when they saw that the boy was hurt.
The police detained Miss Gertrude Robbins, a stenographer, to obtain information concerning Millett’s death. Portsmouth [NH] Herald 16 February 1909: p. 3
Dr Mary Walker, of Washington City, was picked up in New York the other night by a policeman and taken to the police station. It was the Doctor’s queer suit that got her into trouble, which consists of something like a cross between the dress of a Zouave, a man’s suit, and the outfit of a picnicker. It was gray in color, her hat was brown straw, and her gaiters sported many buttons. She wore a flimsy brown necktie, tied in a bow, and carried an umbrella and a stout walking-stick. When spoke to by the policeman she “jawed back,” as is her usual custom and the custom of her sex, and he, never having heard of Dr. Mary Walker, thought it to be his duty to arrest the mixed apparition before him and have it authoritatively investigated. When in the station she took off her hat and asked: “Do I look like a man?” Having established her identity, and satisfied the officer that she was simply a fool and not a culprit, she was suffered to depart, after “sassing” everybody to her heart’s content. The Tiffin [OH] Tribune 22 August 1878: p. 3
A number of ladies in Paris have formed themselves into a society called “L’ Union des Femmes Chretienne,” for the purpose of reforming the fashions. Each one promises to pay so much a year for her toilettes, and not to employ any dressmaker or buy goods unless she can pay for them right away. Won’t they please try this on here? Monticello [IA] Express 26 Mary 1870: p. 3
A Marrying Man. —The Utica Gazette cautions ladies against one Hiram N. Barnes, a hatter. He has already had five wives. The Liberator [Boston, MA] 26 June 1846
FOR SEA SICKNESS.
Take a few fresh figs, reduce them to a pulp, and mix them with a little rum or champagne wine, diluted with ten or twelve drops of lemon juice, Let the sea sick drink it, and they will speedily recover. 1829 remedy. The Christian Recorder [Philadelphia, PA] 17 April 1869